


Alayne

by MissEmmanuelle



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Escort Service, F/M, Family deaths, Hardships, Homicide, Stalking, Strong Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 09:13:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9812741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissEmmanuelle/pseuds/MissEmmanuelle
Summary: Sansa Stark had sacrificed so much to keep her remaining family together. Reluctantly doing so but it was necessary. Then, someone comes along and shakes her world up.Rated M for content and possible future smut.





	1. Alayne

**Author's Note:**

> For Fifteen Days of Valentine's tumblr challenge. Day 3: Confession.  
> This is a multi part fic. Quite an emotional piece with a strong and resolute hero type Jon. Beware the triggers - family deaths, stalking, strong language.

Sansa smoothed the satin skirt she had worn specially for tonight. It was a deep red, a colour Sansa thought always brought out her vixen side and paired it with her organza blouse and snakeskin heels. Perfect, she thought. A few sips of Pinot calmed her nerves, even after two years yet whenever the text or call came, she felt her stomach do somersaults. 

She had been fortunate enough to have had mostly gentlemen during those years and most of them just enjoyed an evening of companionship and nothing more. Some of them were her regulars, they went to the same restaurant, sit at the same bar and usually would order the same drinks and chat about the same things. It was almost routine, Sansa had her diary planned out for them. Sometimes she would have someone new for the night. And those nights, were the toughest on Sansa. Sansa didn't know who to feel more sorry for, these men who were starved for attention or herself, enabling them. 

But at least she didn't need to worry about student loans anymore. It was just Bran's medical bills and groceries she had to worry about. They hadn't always gotten along, but it was to Sansa's great relief when Arya's scholarship came at the most needed time. Being the sole breadwinner of the family was a tough role she had to play for quite some time now. The guilt that plagued her in the beginning slowly gave way to expensive physiotherapy sessions and costly school textbooks. She wasn't proud of the choice she made but it was a choice nevertheless, that helped her tragedy stricken family carry on with their lives. Or whatever that was left of it. A sacrifice she was willing to pay for if it meant keeping her family together, all three of them. 

Sansa smiled graciously as she was greeted by the door man. The W was always her regular meeting place for first timers. She liked the bar which had a terrace that overlooked the city. And she had made friends with the bartender who was a kind and fatherly type that reminded her of her own. 

Sansa looked at the text on her phone again to check the time. 

"Well, if isn't my favourite lady," a familiar voice greeted her as she approached the bar. 

"Hi George. How are you? Any of that Malbec you have from the other night?" Sansa beamed at the stout bearded man. She had learned so much about wines, choosing and tasting countless bottles, from George whom Sansa was convinced secretly owned the hotel bar he worked in. 

"Oh yes, it was a good one eh? Coming right up. Just you tonight?"

"Oh no, I'm on a date. So I'm hoping he'll turn up. If not it'll just be me and that fantastic vintage right here."

Sansa had been to the hotel bar with friends, dates, clients and sometimes by herself on many occasions. It was the one place where she could hide behind the facade of a typical young female living her carefree perfect little life. Little did they know.

"Ah, lucky guy."

Sansa sipped from her glass and glanced at the phone. It was five minutes past eight. He was late. 

As Sansa watched George chat with the other patrons seated at the bar, she noticed a dark suit at the corner of her eye walking towards her direction. Sansa discreetly turned, wondering if it was him. A lanky blonde haired man was indeed walking towards her and he looked quite handsome. Young but very handsome. Sansa gave him a small smile.

"Hi excuse me, Miss? Alayne?"

"Yes, I am. You must be Cal."

Sansa put on her best posture and most confident smile. His toothy grin smiled back. Very handsome, she thought gratefully. 

"Well, apologies Miss but no I'm not. I'm Alex from the concierge. I was asked to give you this. From Mr Cal."

Sansa took the small white envelope written with the name Alayne on it. She smiled as he wished her a good evening. Sansa opened the envelope and read the note that was inside of it. 

'Dear Miss Alayne,   
I didn't want to waste one second of our time together since it is our first meeting. I hope you wouldn't mind that I've arranged for our meeting to be in our room instead. The key card is enclosed and I hope to see you soon.

Yours,   
C.  
Penthouse Suite 5115'

Sansa looked at the key card. She held it tightly in her hand, knowing that this was going to be one of those tough nights again. Sansa read the note again. It was handwritten legibly but something stood out to her. It seemed familiar, as if she had seen this writing before. She couldn't quite put her finger on it yet and she hoped to God it wasn't one of her professors. Nonetheless, the rules were, meet and greet first. If there were any red flags, any danger, there was a number on speed and voice dial she would call. Sansa steeled herself and took a deep breath. She sipped the remaining of her wine and waited for George to settle her bill. 

"Is he coming?" Sansa almost giggled at the choice of words. Sansa shook her head. 

"No he just texted me that he'll meet me somewhere else so yeah, calling it a night then." George shook his head in disapproval. 

"He's an idiot. Stay safe and have a good one."

"I will and you too George."

Sansa waved her goodbye and stepped out of the bar. Lying was becoming second nature to her, it was almost effortless. It seemed that the mundane worked with most people. The dullest of reasons to ensure the matter won't ever be spoken of again. Too boring to bring up. Sansa sighed as she pressed the lift button. She tapped the key card on the reader as she entered it and noticed the penthouse suites were on the 50th floor. She had never graced the hotel hallways of the W hotel. Her clients usually had their own preferred sanctuary. The bar was hers. 

The lift opened to a spacious private lobby. Sansa knocked lightly. It was polite to do so. She took another deep breath as she slid in the card and opened the door. 

Sansa's jaw went slack as she stepped in and saw what was the most exquisite view of the city. The room had its own private terrace and the fireplace was lit. Sansa looked around and noticed that she was alone. Perhaps he wanted her to get ready for him. Sansa's eyes found on a small envelope on the table. Another note, she thought. 

'Dear Alayne, 

I hope the room is to your liking, I wanted to make sure that everything is perfect for our first night together. If you step into the bedroom, there will be everything you need to make yourself comfortable and I do want you to be as comfortable as possible. Will see you soon. 

Yours,  
C. 

Sansa walked to the bedroom and fell in love with its elegant and stunning decor. He's a big spender, she thought. The bed was a jumbo king sized one and laying on it was a silk robe. Sansa's hand caressed the silk robe, it was fine and just the colour she would have picked. Sansa picked it up and noticed a lace chemise peeking out from underneath. 

He adores the female body, another thought drifted in as Sansa held the chemise against her body. If he was coming up soon, she had better ready herself for him. That was the request. That he wanted her to wear something of his choice as he requested. Sansa stepped into the bathroom which was just as big as the bedroom. 

The marble tub was large enough to accommodate a couple and Sansa wondered if the evening would end up in a naughty bubble bath. Sansa took off her clothes and put on the silk chemise and robe. She left her silk stockings and garter belt on as well as her heels. They usually like it on anyway, she mused. Sansa tied up her hair in a ponytail she thought would look great with what she was asked to wear. She knew from experience that neck kisses were one way to avert French ones. Sansa stepped out of the bathroom and draped her own clothes on the armchair. She might as well enjoy it, when would she ever have the chance to lay in a bed of a $3000 a night penthouse suite. 

Sansa was good at making the best out of things. It was the only way she could ever keep her sanity. Sansa wandered around the large room and came across another envelope on the nightstand. This time, it was just cold hard cash. No handwritten note. Sansa counted the bills, there was an extra thousand in it. That usually counted as a tip but tips usually meant something more. Sansa shut her eyes and tried to calm her nerves. She liked surprises but in this job, surprises weren't usually welcomed. Sansa placed the envelope in her clutch and decided she would have another drink.

The whiskey felt like fire down her throat but it would be a good anaesthetic to what she had to face in a few moments. Sansa stood against the open glass doors and looked out at the view. She tried to imagine herself waiting for a husband to come home. She would greet him in her sexy nightie, in her slut heels, hand him a drink and gently massage his shoulders as he sits on the plush sofa, kissing away the pain tenderly and lovingly. That was what a wife would do, wouldn't it? Or the kind most men hoped to have. 

Sansa eyes fluttered open as she heard a click behind her. The door was shut by someone entering. Her client was here. Sansa didn't quite want to turn to face him yet. She wasn't really ready for him. In fact she could never be ready when she had evenings like these. 

She breathed in deeply in order to stop her pulse from racing. And sweat would stain the lovely silk that adorned her body. Sansa pursed her lips and prepared to put on her sexiest smile to greet her husband for the night. 

"So it's true. It IS you." Sansa's eyes widened in horror as she heard a familiar raspy voice greeting from behind her. 

"I didn't want to believe it when I heard about you.. I wanted to see it for myself. Sansa... This is.. Sansa look at me," the voice carried on and demanded. The tinge of disappointment was apparent. Sansa's heart raced as she slowly turned around. His dark eyes and dark curls were unmistakable. 

"Jon? Why.."

"I heard things Sansa. I beat up the mouths of those who said those things. But I can't believe it... I can't believe it's really you." 

Sansa pulled at her robe to cover her shame and anger. He had the audacity. He had the balls to tell it to her face about 'things' he heard about her doing what she was doing. How dare he, judge her when he was the one paying for all this? Sansa felt hot tears rolling down her cheeks and stepped away when Jon inched closer. 

"No! Fuck you Jon! Why the fuck are you here? Don't you fucking dare step any closer! What you couldn't look up Facebook or the bloody telephone book for that? You had to do this? And see me like this? Where were you when we needed you? When Robb died, when everybody fucking died! You think I enjoy doing this? You fucker, one more step and I'm calling the police!"

Sansa's rage was unleashed, years of grief and trouble, years of trying to stay strong when left alone to deal with Robb's death shortly after Mother's. Jon was gone, no word since he left for college. Jon stopped and stood where he was. His eyes were still on her, albeit softer this time. There was unresolved guilt in them. She knew how that looked like. She faced it everyday in the mirror. 

Sansa felt her legs go from under her and swayed over to the couch. Shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger and hate were in the huge mixed bag of emotions that was all stirred up in her. Sansa felt like she wanted to scream. 

"Sansa.. Please. I'm sorry for all this, the call and all of that, but I tried, honest to God I did! I couldn't find Arya on Facebook, or Rickon or Bran or you even! I went to the old house but you guys aren't living there anymore. Sansa I did, I looked for all of you. I wanted to find you."

Sansa turned to glare at him with her teary eyes. She didn't care if her make up was ruined or even if her mascara ran. 

"Rickon's dead."

Sansa saw Jon eyes stare back at her in disbelief and hung his head down. He started to cry. Good, Sansa thought, I've cried for so long, Jon. 

"I'm sorry Sansa.."

"Sorry you weren't around or sorry you just got the news?" Sansa didn't hold back. Jon had asked for it. 

"Arya's in college now and Bran.. Well Bran is alive. He's still paralysed from the waist down but he's alive. In case you needed an update." Sansa calmed herself down and stood up. She felt strong enough to get dressed and leave when a firm arm grip stopped her. 

"Sansa, please don't. This was just wrong, I know it, Please don't go. I'm an ass, I know that. Just please don't go. I'm so alone, I need you here right now, please," Jon pleaded through his tears and quaking voice. He let go of her arm. Sansa had never seen her cousin cry before. She wished for Jon to come back to the Stark family after had Robb passed. Jon and Robb were as close as brothers. How different it would be if Jon was there for her and Arya and Bran, or even Rickon. But it all changed after her father's death. And Sansa never knew what she was in for since then. Alone was a feeling that kept her up at night. Every night since. 

"Why did you call? Who told you about this? I never used my real name so how did you know about this?"

Jon kept silent. He didn't want to tell the whole actual truth. Though he had smashed the face of one Meryn Trant, an associate of the Lannisters, who boasted of his disdain for red heads and who thought he came across an escort at a 'gentleman's club' event that looked just like his cousin Sansa. Joffrey Lannister with big mouth and an even bigger ego, fragile as it was, had a talent in shaming his exes. It took Jon a while to track down Joffrey and the trail led him to the one name, he knew, that could only associate Sansa with. Alayne. When he asked a few dozen agencies for a date with a 5 foot 9 leggy, blue eyed red haired lass named Alayne, he thought he was going insane. Sansa wouldn't be doing this. She was a lady in every way, raised well as one, Jon couldn't imagine, even the darker side of him, Sansa as an escort. 

Up until he stumbled upon one that matched his description perfectly. As skeptical as he was, Jon knew he had to try. Part of him didn't want to but part of him wouldn't forgive himself for not trying to track down the only family he had. He had wished and hoped it wasn't Sansa who walked through the door of the hotel. His heart broke the moment he watched from afar as Alex handed the envelope to her. 

Jon had never cried so hard before as he sat back and bawled in his car. He couldn't leave her there as much as he didn't want to face the truth. What has his family become? There was only one person to blame and it was him. If only he had been there when Robb died. If only he wasn't the coward who left not wanting to deal with his beloved Uncle Ned's death. There were so many reasons for him to leave Sansa and the Stark family behind but yet there was only one reason that made him come up to the suite. Sansa.

"Alayne. I know that name."

Sansa stared at him. Alayne was a name that only she knew. A name that as a girl she kept in her diary. 

"It was the name of your favourite doll. That I broke when you were eight. It had red hair and blue eyes just like you. You said that if one day if you had a daughter, she would look just like Alayne." Jon's eyes slowly met with hers as he said it. It was true and Sansa couldn't stand the sight of him since the incident. 

"But how could you know that? I sure as hell didn't tell you that when were kids, Jon," Sansa shook her head at the memories flooding back to her. There were happy times in her childhood she thought would help her withstand the pain of loss but the pain was too great to bear. Trying to deal with real life helped get her back on track. She had to, there was only herself she could depend on. 

"I know. I read it in your diary. I wanted to know why you hated me so much. And yeah, I'm sorry for that," Jon confessed apologetically. 

The evening was becoming exhausting and one that exposed raw nerves and reopened old wounds that never really healed properly. Sansa realised the more she sat and talk the more tired she would be. She felt a calm and peace now, perhaps from knowing that Jon was here with her, alive and well. But the shame was still there. 

"No one can know about this, Jon. I have bills to pay and Bran to look after. This was the only thing that would do both. Nobody knows I do this."

Jon held out his hand and waited for Sansa to reach out. Sansa sighed and held it in hers. Jon pulled her in for an embrace, one she didn't think she would ever experience. 

"I promise you, no one will. You have my word. You don't have to this if you don't want to. We'll figure it out together. I just want you back, and Arya and Bran. I'll look after you, I'll help out I promise. Whenever you need me, for whatever, you'll have me there right by your side. Sansa, I won't ever leave you." Jon promised her as he peppered her head with kisses, her fiery red hair smelling of lavender and lemon, a smell that made him warm and fuzzy inside. 

Sansa sniffed to stifle a sob and nodded her head. She believed him. She wanted him with her. She wanted him back and around her. She was so tired of being strong. And sacrificing herself, her body, her soul, her dignity and her conscience. 

Perhaps, she had to confess, that it was a long time coming, that she didn't want to do this anymore.


	2. Yours Is Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The family reunites and all is well again. Sansa is back to her old gentle self - the Sansa Jon had always admired and adored.   
> For all that Jon has done, Sansa can't help but wish to repay Jon and does it the only way she knows how. Will it be well received?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Fifteen Days of Valentine's tumblr challenge. Day 9: fantasy  
> Will be a multi chapter fic. These two are too hot not too have a few chapters exploring their chemistry... and each other's bodies haha   
> Rated M in the future for smut.

“You know there will be questions, Jon. And I don’t quite know how or what to tell them. Bran and Arya, if they see you… ” Sansa broke the silence, saying out loud what both of them had been thinking. The night had worn them out, drained them of tears and words. The emotional upheaval shook them both and one they weren’t quite prepared for. Sansa and Jon didn’t leave each other’s arms till sleepiness finally took over. The breakfast he had ordered for both of them remained untouched.  


“I’ll take care of it, Sans. It’s all on me, I’ll speak to them. I miss them too,” Jon gently assured her. The least he could do was show up and face them and answer any questions that they had. He was certain there was going to be a lot of questions, as Sansa had mentioned. He was prepared to deal with the anger and the grief. They had a right to feel that way.   


“Jon, I should get going. I don’t like leaving Bran alone for too long,” Sansa shifted in her seat and stood up. Jon noticed she was still wearing the silk chemise he had bought for Alayne. Sansa had grown into a beautiful young woman, gone were the freckles and wiry red hair. Sansa was a bombshell, Jon observed as his eyes ran all over his estranged cousin. Jon looked away when he felt the familiar ache creep up, clothed in his boxers.   


“Of course, can I drop you off?”  


Sansa was too tired to object and shrugged, and changed into back into her clothes from the night before.  
———–  
Sansa was right, Jon didn’t know how to answer Bran and Arya’s questions or handle their outbursts, he had just let them vent out their anger and frustration at him. In the end, Bran was the most optimistic and welcoming in Jon’s return than Arya was and understandably so. Jon couldn’t complain, it had gone better than expected and Sansa’s encouraging presence helped a great deal.   


“You should move in here. We have the extra room,” Bran suggested at dinner one evening. Sansa glanced cautiously at Jon as his eyes met hers.   


“It will be nice to have the family back again. You are family Jon. You’re a Targaryen but Aunt Lyanna’s only son. You should live here with us. Besides, it will be awesome to have you around like old times,” Bran contemplated, looking to Sansa for support.   


“Yeah, I’d like that very much,” Jon agreed wholeheartedly. It had gotten considerably manageable and civil after the fateful reunion a few months ago. Jon had promised Sansa he was going to be there for all of them and that was exactly what he was going to do. He had come by the Stark house almost every day since.   


“Well, in that case I better get your room ready then,” Sansa offered with a smile. Jon was still the same old Jon after all.   
————————–  
Jon had no inkling how much his life would change for the better after getting in touch with the Starks. He delighted in coming home to a family, a luxury he had not experienced for a long while. Being cared for like the fortunate human being that he was, with a home cooked meal at the end of the day, catching up with Bran and having a laugh with Sansa and sometimes a grunt or two from Arya, made him that much more complete. Jon was grateful Sansa had given him a chance that night, despite the unsavoury premise of their first meeting. She forgave him that same night. The Sansa he knew now was sweet, kind, soft spoken and well mannered like how she had always been. Only this time her qualities only amplified her beauty. Jon wondered if there had been any suitors in the midst.  


Summer had just begun and it was only appropriate the young ones in the household needed to let off some steam and enjoy their youth. Bran had gone off to camp and Arya went on a school trip with her classmates. It was just Sansa and Jon by themselves.  


They were sitting together quietly by the fire, Jon reading his book and Sansa with her cross stitching. They had occasionally glanced in each other’s directions, smiling and appreciating one another’s comforting presence.  


“So, tell me, how come you, a Targaryen hasn’t had a date for so long? Ever since you’ve been here, you’ve not been out with anyone. I hope we aren’t cramping your style,” Sansa giggled as she teased Jon, hoping to get a reaction from him.  


“Why are you asking me this? What about you? I haven’t seen you out dating either. Already keen to kick me out, eh?” Jon shot back, putting his book down and wagged his finger playfully at Sansa.  


“Well, look at the both of us now, sitting at home, by the fire reading and stitching. I think this is it Jon, we’re officially old,” Sansa laughed at her situation. After she had left the agency, her personal life was much quieter now. She would get a text or two from her regular clients but it was all there was to it and nothing more. It was good waking up not feeling guilt and shame. Her new counsellor job at the youth centre made her feel purposeful.  


“No we’re not. We’re just content. And at peace. It’s been a while I felt this way,” Jon thought out loud, wistfully.  


“Oh? And when was the last time?”  
Jon sighed, he didn’t like bringing up bad memories, but this family was no stranger to them.  


“I was almost married once. It felt good having someone. Having someone to come home to, to talk with, to spend time with and do everything together. She was going to be my wife but one day she decided she didn’t want to anymore.”  


“Oh. I’m so sorry Jon. I didn’t meant to bring all that up,” Sansa’s heart went out to him. Jon had proven himself to be gentle, generous and tender hearted. A little brooding perhaps but Sansa guessed that was part of his charm. Jon shrugged, it was all in the past and he didn’t like looking back or stepping back in it.  


“I won’t deny I miss that. I miss her too as well. Can’t help it since we’ve always had fantastic se-“ Jon paused abruptly, embarrassed to go on further. As close as he was to Sansa now, they had never spoken frankly or intimately of their personal lives. Sansa paused her cross stitch and watched Jon.  


“Fantastic sex?” she finished the sentence for him. Jon nodded sheepishly. Sansa smiled. She missed that too.  


“It happens when you’ve been with someone for a long time. But yeah, a few years ago, to answer your question.”  


Sansa picked up her cross stitch again and continued, although this time her mind was on something else. She stole quick glances at Jon whenever he wasn’t looking in her direction and watched him intently. For all that he had done in bringing her family together again, Sansa believed that he too deserved happiness. She wondered if there was anything she could do. Whatever Jon wanted she would be willing to give, if it brought him joy. Seeing him happy was now her mission.  


“So, say if you were married and had a wife, what’s she like?” Sansa asked quietly, trying to keep her focus on the needle and thread in her fingers. She heard Jon shift in his seat.  


“Hmm… good question, Sans. Gosh, how would I know? I should be a good husband to her first I guess,” Jon pondered, his book now closed and placed aside. Sansa did the same with her stitching.  


“What would she do for you, what would she say… what would she wear?” Sansa probed on, an idea forming in her head as she waited for Jon’s response.   


“My wife? Well, she doesn’t have to do much. I guess if it’s one thing she needs to do is cook because I sure as hell can’t. And we’ll have dinner together just the two of us, talking about every day stuff, and we’ll talk about our day at work, the gossip in the office, then talk about our families… I’m sorry I’m rambling on.”  


“No, no carry on, I’m listening.”  


“Well, we wouldn’t argue since I adore her too much to say no so I’ll agree to whatever she’ll say. I mean, she’s my wife, right? What will she wear? I guess she’ll be wearing those skirts, you know the ones that cling, because I love it when she shows her curves,” Jon continued, grinning and thoroughly enjoying imagining his fantasy spouse.  


“What about in bed? What will she be wearing in bed?” Sansa prodded on, not sure why she asked it. Jon paused to think, wondering if Sansa was mocking him and if he should play along.  


“In bed? Oh, she would be a vixen in bed, black and red lingerie and stockings and all the works. Straight from a Victoria’s Secret catalogue,” Jon joked, even though the imagery sent tingles to his loins. Sansa smiled. The idea was already in her head now and all it needed now was precise execution.  
———————–  
Sansa took some time off early from work that day to prepare a special dinner. She had picked out the perfect pencil skirt with a thigh high slit and a red off shoulder blouse that bared a little skin and showed off her curves. Only thing now was contemplating whether she should put on the black and red silk teddy with the stockings and garter belt. She wondered if she was pushing it too far. Sansa decided to anyway, she loved lingerie, it made her feel confident and good in it. It had been too long since she felt confident or good. Sansa took one last look in the mirror and waited for him to come home.  


“Hey Sansa, you home? I thought-“ Jon stopped dead in his tracks as Sansa appeared from the kitchen and gave him a lingering peck on the cheek. Her lips were dangerously close to his. Jon was stunned, partly from the kiss and partly from how dazzling she looked.  


“Hi honey,” Sansa greeted him and handed him a beer. Jon stared at her in confusion, puzzled if she was pulling a prank on him.  


“Umm.. hi. Sansa, you look amazing. And whatever you’re cooking smells fantastic,” Jon greeted her, trying to act normal.  


“It’s Coq Au Vin, I made your favourite. And I also got us a bottle of your favourite wine so why don’t you sit down and make yourself comfortable, honey,” Sansa turned him around and led him to the dining table. Jon read the label on the wine bottle. True enough it was his favourite. And the meal too. It didn’t take long for Jon to realise what was going on.   
Sansa felt a grip on her wrist as she poured him a glass. Jon was staring at her now, his eyes dark and dangerous.  


“Sansa, whatever joke you’re pulling now for whatever reason, it’s not funny. Stop it now. Or I’ll make you,” Jon warned her. Sansa sat down and faced him.  


“Jon, let me do this for you. For all that you’ve done for me, I want to see you happy. Please let me do this for you,” Sansa pleaded, trying to free her wrist of his grip.   


“Do what Sansa? What is the meaning of all this?”  


“I wanted to let you, for a day, see what it’s like in having a wife. That’s all. Whatever you said two nights ago, I wanted to make it real for you.”  


“You don’t have to Sansa. Did you think that I’m here because I want something in return from you?” Jon’s eyes were now staring holes right into her. Sansa didn’t see what was wrong with the surprise. A lump slowly formed in her throat.  


“No Jon! I just wanted to do something for you, something to remember, I won’t make you do anything I promise! I just wanted to do this for you, the least I could,” Sansa felt her eyes watering and her voice quivering. Jon finally let her hand go. He covered his face with his hands. Sansa turned away and stood up to leave the table. Perhaps this was all just a bad idea.  


“Sansa, you don’t have to. I’m here for you because I care for you. That’s all that matters. What I want doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy,” Jon confessed, his eyes turning slightly red. Sansa didn’t want to face him anymore as she wiped away a tear. What was she thinking?  


“Sansa. Listen. You don’t have to do this to make me happy. You already do. Seeing you every day when I come home, makes me happy, talking to you every day makes me happy. Hearing you laugh makes me happy. You are the reason why I’m happy every single fucking day! You know why that is? Because I fucking love you, Sansa Stark. Your happiness is my happiness and I will just fucking shoot myself  if I ever leave you again,” Jon continued, his own voice quaking with emotion.  


Sansa twirled around and saw a dejected Jon facing her. She saw it all wrong. He was talking about her, he was describing her and he saw only her. That fantasy of his was all real life as he saw it every day in her. Sansa walked over to Jon and cupped his face in her hands. Their lips were only inches away. How she adored this man, now more than ever.  


“Then, let don’t ever leave me, Jon. I promise you, I’ll do my best to make you a happy man.”  



	3. Good for Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An accident that made Jon reevaluate what was important to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos! It's been very encouraging! so this chapter is an emotional chapter so do bear in mind the trigger warnings: accidents, home invasion, homicides, hardships etc.  
> Jon decides to take charge and do things properly from here on out. A bit of Jonsa since this is a 'set-up' chapter for what's to come. And what's to come? Lots of Jonsa loving! :)

“Sansa.. “ was the only word Jon could breathe out and for what seemed like an eternity, staring into her pale blue eyes, Jon leaned in and crashed his lips on hers. Sansa welcomed him almost immediately, as if she too was hungry for him. Their mouths locked onto each other’s and Jon took the chance as her lips parted and darted his tongue in between them. Jon’s passion and fervour in devouring her soft lips only made Sansa whimper and moan softly much to his own pleasure. Sansa felt her legs weaken and leaned onto the kitchen island for support. Her hands were too occupied in draping over his broad shoulders and caressing the smooth nape of his neck. His skin was sizzling to the touch and Sansa craved to kiss him all over.

Jon’s mouth wandered to her ear lobes and neck, an area she had once reserved solely for use at her previous ‘work’ and pressed down his head gently, encouraging him to continue his breath-taking efforts. Sansa quickly felt herself getting damp in between her thighs and yearned for Jon’s touch.“Oh Jon... Don’t stop..Please,“ she heard herself whisper to him in between his kisses. Maybe his fantasy was hers too. She had no regrets in planning all of this for him, now that she knew what it had led to.

A loud ring jolted both of them out of their throes of passion. It only took Jon half a second to continue his lip grazing on Sansa’s neck. But it was a voice that followed the ring that halted them in their heated embrace.

“Miss Sansa Stark, this is Dr Tarly from Citadel Medical Centre... Hello? If you get this message, please come down as soon as you can. There’s been an accident. It’s Bran Stark, your brother.”

Sansa stopped in an instant and gasped and pulled away from Jon so fast that she almost pushed him down and rushed to the phone. Dr Tarly had already hung up the moment she had the phone in hand and shouted into the receiver for a response. Jon rushed to her as Sansa fell back against the console table, devastated at the call. She couldn’t think straight. The call, the same crushing message had been told to her two or three times over, she couldn’t believe she would hear it again. _No, no not Bran, please don’t take Bran away from me, please!_ Sansa thought as she felt sick to her stomach.

Here she was, throwing herself at Jon, not caring about anyone or anything else except how good he felt on her neck and mouth. All she cared for was to be fucked by him. The guilt and shame she once thought had left her for good, rose up again, this time knocking her off her feet, slamming her down and punched her in her gut. There was no stopping the tears now. It was just her and Arya now, she feared. _No, please no, they’re the only ones I have left_.

“Oh my God Jon! It’s Bran.. We have to get to the hospital.. He had an accident! We have to get there... “ Sansa panicked and cried at the same time. She wasn’t being coherent. And she couldn’t move, despite her words. Jon understood clearly. He heard the message and the same fear shook him, just like it did fifteen years ago.

“Yes, I heard Sansa... Sansa! Let’s go.. Sansa, “ Jon tugged at her arm gently as she sat frozen on the floor. He fished for his phone from his back pocket and realised he had four missed calls and ten messages. Unwittingly, he had forgotten it was turned to silent mode for the work meeting he had earlier that day. They were all from his good friend Sam Tarly. He had been the new resident doctor at Citadel Medical Centre for a few months now. They just had a beer two weeks ago in catching up. Sam had been trying to contact him all these while. While he was tongue deep in Sansa’s mouth. He recognised the voice on the answering machine the moment it came on. But he was in a daze, heady and high from Sansa’s intoxicating kisses.

Sansa finally moved and struggled to get up, her tears had smeared the eyeliner on her face and she looked at Jon in despair. He hadn’t seen that expression in a long while. Not since they first got together. _In the hotel room_ , he recalled. Jon helped her up and held her by the waist as a crutch as they walked out to the car. Sansa’s body was wracked with sobs as Jon helped her in the car. As he closed the door on her side, he had to shut his eyes and take a deep breath. The shame pierced through him, shattering whatever fantasy he held in his head of Sansa. All he cared for was how good she felt in his hands. Her soft lips, the curve of her waist, the way she moaned and whispered in his ears – Jon couldn’t still quite shake off what they both almost had done. He couldn’t imagine if they had both went further, in the bedroom instead of the kitchen, too far gone in the heat of the moment that they would have missed the fateful call.

Jon exhaled and came back to his senses, pulled himself together and steeled himself in preparing to face whatever that waited for them at Citadel Medical. Sansa laid back on the head rest with her eyes closed as Jon got into his seat and he stayed silent as he turned on the ignition. There was nothing to be said, Jon and Sansa both wishing they could turn back time.

“Sansa! Over here!” Sansa heard a voice calling out to her as Jon and her entered the ER waiting room. Meera ran over to her and Sansa reached out for a hug. Sansa needed to know if Bran was all right.

“Tell me, how is he?”

“I’m sorry, I swear I thought he was with me all this while, I didn’t know he left to wander on his own. Sansa I’m so sorry, “ Meera frantically tried to explain herself. Sansa didn’t want to blame anyone. She was tired of blaming all of the tragedy that happened to her family on anyone. She was exhausted in asking why.

It wasn’t only her family who got caught in death’s clutches. Jon’s parents were the first ones claimed – a brutal house invasion that resulted in homicide, one that would rattle the entire Stark Targaryen household for years to come. Jon was only nine and had been at his friend’s for a sleepover when it happened. Sansa remembered her parents carrying little Jon’s suitcases when he moved in with them, being the only kin who were willing to care for him. Aerys , Jon’s grandfather was too old to care for his young orphan grandson. Sansa knew that her father and her aunt Lyanna had been close growing up, and being the kind and honourable man that he was, there was no question that Jon would spend his childhood with the rest of his children.

“Meera, Meera listen to me. It’s all right. I don’t blame you, I don’t blame anyone. It’s just.. It’s just how it is. Please tell me how bad, that’s all I need to know Meera,” Sansa tried her best in her calmest voice to assure the frightened Meera Reed. The Reed family had been dear family friends of the Starks, Sansa trusted them with Bran and he had enjoyed being in their company. The accident had not only taken away Father and Mother and the use of Bran’s legs but his bright and cheery self as well. It wasn’t until Meera’s encouragement for Bran to join the camp where she was working at that Sansa saw the positive changes in him take place. Bran took a long time to return to his old self. And look where they were now. The ER was unpleasantly familiar to Sansa and everytime she hoped never to return, it seemed it would not take long before she was back there again.

Sansa saw a figure in a white coat walking in her direction from the corner of her eye and turned to see Dr Tarly walking towards her. Sansa couldn’t quite read his expression, his tight smile seemed reassuring enough but the worry in her was debilitating. Sansa watched as Jon approach the mild mannered portly young man and witnessed a hug exchanged between the two of them, as if they had been long time friends, though Jon never spoke much about his friends. Jon walked over with him towards a confused Sansa. Who was this Jon she thought she knew?

“Miss Sansa Stark? Hi, I’m Dr Tarly. I’m glad you got my message,” the young man offered his hand in greeting. Sansa liked how his kind eyes danced as he smiled.

“Yes, hi Dr Tarly. Tell me, how is Bran? Please tell me he is all right. He has to be,” Sansa pleaded, holding back another wave of tears. The doctor smiled and didn’t let her hand go from the handshake, only to enclose it with his other hand.

“He had a bad fall, there were some broken ribs but it looks like he will be all right. We will be keeping him for a night for observation, some scans to see if there’s any concussion but it looks good, Miss Stark. Though I can’t say the same for the wheelchair he was in. You might want to get a new one,” Dr Tarly’s soothing voice almost broke her in tears, the relief that washed over her was indescribable. For once, being in the ER this time did not give her sorrow. Sansa couldn’t feel her legs but felt a gentle grip on her waist and shoulders as Jon came to her side, the same relief had come over him as he reached out to her.

“Oh my God, thank you Dr Tarly! Oh I was so worried! I couldn’t face another one..,” Sansa thanked him profusely, her voice drifting off sensing she would most definitely break into wracking sobs if she had continued.

“All in a day’s job, Miss Stark. And Bran’s a strong boy, his vitals look good. The physiotherapy has helped him a great deal I’m sure. Thanks to you, Miss Stark, not me, because you took good care of him that’s why he’s able to recover in no time. I’m just here to put the band aid on.”

Sansa nodded through her tears. It took a lot out of her for Bran to get the help and therapy he needed and no one knew but her. Dr Tarly nodded back and smiled. That was all he could offer besides the encouraging news. He had heard the stories surrounding the tragic deaths in the Stark family and even Jon himself had told him how his parents had died. Sam was glad and proud of Jon for reuniting and returning to the remaining family he had left. Jon looked at him with tears welling in his eyes and nodded. Sam felt he should excuse himself from this private family moment between the both of them. Jon gripped his shoulder gently and motioned for him to wait. Sam watched as Jon led Sansa to the seats and excused himself for a moment to speak with him. Jon knew Sansa needed to sit down.

“Sansa? How is Bran?” Meera meekly inquired as she sat next to her. Meera didn’t intrude in her consultation with Dr Tarly, preferring to wait for Sansa instead. She was guilty about Bran’s accident, it was her turn to chaperone the attendees during the scavenger hunt game but instead she was too caught up in texting with her long distance boyfriend. The person who was supposed to be lying on that hospital bed was her.

“Bran will be fine. He just needs some rest and maybe a scan but the doctor said he will be okay,” Sansa shared, wiping away at the corner of her eyes. Meera’s arms came around Sansa and gave her a hug of relief, glad that Bran was going to be all right. If it had been otherwise, Meera wouldn’t be able to forgive herself.

“Oh! That’s great! I’m so happy he’s going to be okay.” Sansa clung onto Meera, the warmth and reassurance that enveloped  stunned them into a grateful silence. Sansa’s eyes opened and drifted away till it fell on Jon, who was standing some distance away, talking to Dr Tarly.

“I’m sorry I missed your calls, my phone was on silent,” Jon explained, running a trembling hand through his curls. Sam waved his hand dismissing the faux pas.

“I just called to check, since you’re living with them now. I just wanted to make sure it was the right family. How’s everything at home? Good?” Sam asked glancing over at where Sansa was seated. Jon glanced down. _Everything’s great, I was just fondling and kissing my cousin when you called, so yeah, things at home are great,_ Jon thought to himself sarcastically.

“Things are great, better than I expected, now we just have to deal with this. But yeah, it’s nice to have family again,” Jon finally said. Sam grinned seeing how Jon’s life had turned around. Just two weeks ago, Sam had seen a different Jon, no longer the melancholic, downtrodden Jon he met in college, Jon became laid back and cheery, chatting often about his newly reunited cousins. It was a welcome change, for Sam had often contemplated in suggesting that Jon engage a therapist to help deal with the sadness and loneliness he often shared with him.

“Good, brother! I’m glad to hear. Sansa’s good for you. I’m glad you found her.” Jon had to smile at the revelation. He was right. Sansa was good for him. And he wanted to be the best for her. There was no one more elated than him in having found his estranged Sansa. There was no way he would let her loose from his arms again.

“Yes, I’m glad I did.” Jon held out for a hug with Sam and returned to Sansa who had been sitting by herself, clutching and staring at a bunch of papers.

“Hey.” Two hours had passed since they said a word, since they left the house, since the moment his lips were on hers. Sansa looked up at him, her eyes glazed over, and then turned back to the papers she was reading. Jon sat next to her and glanced at the documents. Health insurance forms, he noticed. “The nurse gave me these and asked me to fill it out.. But I can’t,” Sansa pointed out weakly. She looked at Jon and showed him the papers. There was no such insurance to speak of. Jon took the papers from her and quickly skimmed through it. It seemed straightforward enough.

“That’s all right, we’ll do this together,” Jon offered, ready to grab a pen to fill them out. Sansa gripped his arm and stopped him before he could.

“Jon, I can’t because I don’t have any health insurance.. none that Bran could ride on,” Sansa disclosed, her face now frowning in shame.

“Oh, well I’m sure we can figure something. You sure you don’t have any bec-“

“Why do you think I don’t have any Jon? I didn’t exactly have a nine to five that covered me with health benefits!” Sansa interrupted almost screamed at him, snatching the papers away. Jon regretted that he had asked why. Jon saw the nurse at the reception glance their way.

“Sansa, I’m sorry, that was stupid. I am. Look, we’ll figure this out together okay. Let me go ask that lady there and see what she says,” Jon apologised, he wanted to smack himself in the face for that slip up. It was a sore point still between the both of them and they had never discussed it since that night, except when Sansa had told him one day that she had a new job at the youth centre. He could only assume she had stopped her services with the agency. Whatever it was, Jon was glad Sansa was starting on a clean slate. Jon pressed a kiss on her forehead in an effort to console her and made his way to the reception desk. Sansa was in tears again. She desperately wondered why every time she tried to make something good out of herself that it would crumble in ruins shortly after.

“Hi Ma’am, good evening. Could you help me with these forms here? It’s my first time filling them out,” Jon smiled as he approached a petite young lady in scrubs sitting at the desk.

“Sure. You have someone here in the hospital right now?”

“Yes, he had a slight accident, he’ll be here for a night for observation the doctor said.”

“Right, okay then. So I just need you to fill out his details and yours. You’re the dad, I assume?” the lady enquired. Jon paused at her words, though it was a perfectly innocent question. _I could be_ , he thought of how much this family meant to him.

“Umm.. no miss, he isn’t but-“

“Oh then these forms are to be filled by parents or legal guardians only, sir. He’s a minor?” she interrupted him before he could go on. Jon nodded.

“Then, only parents of minors or their legal guardians are required to fill them in. Is there someone here right now who could help you with these?”

Jon glanced over at Sansa who was now pacing back and forth in the waiting area. He nodded again and wondered if he had been any help at all that night. Jon turned again to ask, trying his best to do anything he can to remedy the anguish Sansa had been put through the past few hours.

“So a legal guardian – any legal guardian that has custodial rights could also sign these forms?” he asked to confirm. The lady nodded and smiled at him before she turned back to her computer screen. Jon thanked her and strode back towards Sansa. He remembered Sansa being the sole legal guardian for Bran and Arya after their parent’s deaths but now he had been in the picture alongside them. He had to do something about it. Jon stepped away to lean against the wall and took out his phone. Davos, his attorney, would know what to do.

“Hi Jon, is something the matter?” a gruff voice greeted him on the other end of the line.

“Hi Davos. Sorry to disturb you but it’s urgent and I may need you to do something for me tonight and file for me first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I reckoned it was. Sure boss. Anything you need.”

“I need you to pull strings for me, speak to whoever you need to get this done ASAP. City Hall tomorrow, meet me at 8. Speak to whoever you can - district attorney, attorney general, the president I don’t care, just get it filed and stamped by tomorrow.”

“When you speak like this, this has got to be something serious. Life and death?” Davos’ question made Jon shiver slightly. _Yes, this family is my life now_ , he thought.

“Yes, I need to file for legal guardianship over a minor. He’s family and he had an accident,” Jon shared without divulging too much. The lesser the details, the easier it would be.

“Right, I’ll work on it right away. See you at 8 at City Hall tomorrow then.” Davos noted immediately and said his good bye. Jon would give whatever he had to make sure Bran was going to be all right. Now all that was left was to tell Sansa. That it won’t all be on her alone, he would be legally sharing all her responsibilities in all family matters. _Our names will be on paper_ , Jon thought. He liked the sound of it, he realised. _Legal in all things and everything_ , he thought again. Sansa would be relieved and Jon didn’t mind caring for Bran whom he loved like a brother.

“Sansa.” Jon called out to her as he walked back to her. Sansa turned to him, though her eyes were red and slightly swollen from all the crying, she still looked stunning to him. Even more so, now that she had put her hair up in a messy bun. The woman he had dreamed of all his life, the one he had always wished for was right in front of him, in the form of Sansa Stark. Strong in her own way yet vulnerable. Sweet and gentle, still despite all the tragedy that had shaped her world. And graciously giving, after what she had planned to offer him earlier that night, her lavish act of gratitude, placing his needs above hers. Jon’s heart swelled at those thoughts that filled his mind. He needed her and she needed him.

_Sam is right, she is good for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My tumblr: jonsaforlife

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr: jonsaforlife


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